I find the chaotic theater of modern dating very unappetizing. There's chatter about the Swipe right, swipe left strategy (sounds like Russian roulette to me); squinting at someone's overly filtered photos, wondering if their bio is a carefully curated fiction—and feeling a nauseating cringe rise in my chest when I see horribly framed selfies. Online dating? That's so hit and miss one might as well play the loser's game of buying a lottery ticket. Blindfolded dating? If only! Imagine a scenario where you and the prospect are evaluating each other based on conversation, expression quality, and thought processes. But what if the audio love of your life turns out to look like Shrek? How does one compensate for the Romantic need to have physical attraction? These setups feel less like meeting someone and more like an audition I signed up for against my better judgment.
It's not that I don't believe in love or relationships—far from it. I think strong, romantic partnerships are one of life's best experiences. But they should be built on something real: kindness, shared passions, an openness to truly wanting to know and accept each other. What turns me off is the charade. The bravado of people who brag endlessly about themselves but never ask a genuine question for the purpose of getting to know the other. The ones who lie about their circumstances and their intentions, as if starting with petits canards could be forgiven down the road once the unsuspecting new partner falls under the spell of seduction. Or the over-confident types who think charm alone is enough to skate by, ignoring the fact that connection requires time and effort.
Dating culture feels like a speculative market: everyone overvaluing themselves, hiding flaws, pitching their best angle. The whole thing leaves me cold. I'd rather skip the exhausting performance and meet people naturally—through shared interests or serendipitous moments. Because when the connection is there, it's unmistakable. It doesn't need filters or sales pitches. Everyone wants to feel the fireworks in their loins, but to sustain that one must trust the slow burn; a steady and gradual growth of healthy tension and emotional depth laced with flirtation and humor. there is a certain satisfaction in delaying gratification; notice that the most succulent breads take time to rise, the most flavorful and balanced wines take time to ferment.
Maybe I'm asking too much. Maybe I'm just unwilling to settle. But I'd rather wait for something real than wade through the swamp of "good enough." Call me old-fashioned, but I believe love should be a bold pursuit, a daring undertaking, a worthwhile gamble—not an onerous task that feels jaded and uninspired. This odyssey however, must start with ourselves. If the answer to the question, "Would you date yourself?" is a resounding "yes!" then you have won your own ticket to ride! Go forth with your wish list in hand (but do not get attached to an outcome) and relish the process of meeting someone, trying them on for size. If it's a fit, the love journey begins. If it's not, accept this fact and move on, this is not a fail, it's a clarification.
By the way, I have a list too: a partner with the time, inclination, resources, and health to go on adventures and experience new things. Someone that inspires me to say, "OOH!"